Posts Tagged ‘love’

things i love thursday

Posted: October 13, 2011 in things i love thursday

yesterday i got held back about 50 minutes at school. it wasn’t too bad, after i finally got to discuss my work with my very encouraging teacher. after that i went straight to the train station & just made the train i had already accepted as missed, without even hurrying. then, while we were passing through den haag, they announced that someone was run over by a train right before the station i would have to get out & trains were not going further than we were. then i had to change trains three times, then take a subway where i’d have to change another time. it was so unbearably crowded & it took me SO long to get home & i was so tired (running on like 2 1/2 hours of sleep) & hungry & homicidal, what a fabulous time to write a gratitude list again.


fight club after such a terribly long day, it never gets old my brothers new headphones from shure, which he lets me borrow, they are completely closed both ways & so very lovely in a noisy train hula hooping this new lack of sun & getting my ghostly pallor back fresh vegetables walden sylvia plath poetry in general having a tidy room again, all this newly cleared space still delights me. i can work again! strangers smiling at you in a non-creepy way & being nice & considerate being able to skateboard! sort of. my brother has been teaching me (: & often ending up ‘facepalming’ seeing my two oldest friends again, & the absurdness that ensued tarot cards converge, been way too long since i listened to them & speaking of music, motionless in white, they are so amazing, live, on cd, in what they have to say. they have a pretty spiffy style too that my brother randomly bought me my two favourite muse albums, because he couldn’t find anything he was looking for in the cd store & happened to see them & had money also, owning a new tom waits album spotify radio, i keep discovering new, amazing artists through it passionate teachers that one of them has a muse ringtone my not-so-new-anymore classmates melancholia walks in the morning the peaceful bustle in the morning actually, really, truly being able to understand french. i realized this when i was flipping through a french vogue a couple of months ago & as i casually read some articles it was like, HEY. I CAN READ THIS. when it comes to languages french has always been my arch nemesis, so this is something that’s continually delighting me vacation starting today!

there has been so much more lately, but this is all i can think of now. here’s some brilliance to feast your ears & eyes on:


things i love thursday

Posted: March 17, 2011 in things i love thursday

haven’t done this in a while! consciously. about time i brought it back.


MY NEW TATTOO how well my evaluations at school went this post-evaluations peace devin townsend live spotting people at the station/on the street of whom you just know that they’re going to the same show tivoli oudegracht, how i’ve missed that venue; way better than certain melkwegs utrecht in general, i can’t BELIEVE i hadn’t been there for over a year & a half at concerts, when very tall guys in front of you notice tiny you behind them straining for some semblance of a view of the stage & offer to trade places leftovers from the good old 90’s like boy meets world (forever & always) & hole compliments on the street by complete strangers the pants i made for sewing class, they’re SO comfortable my new haircut the beauty in science exhibition at boijmans, especially the underwater part that a certain order didn’t get lost in the mail after all spending the long hours traveling to school & back reading really absorbing books surrounded by the same people every weekday, there’s something so quaint about that my new series of unfortunate events books & special edition fight club dvd when i can almost immediately take the subway after the train after those long days running into old school friends on that same subway, under agreeable circumstances cloudy/rainy days, especially right after the absurdly sunny ones all the new things i’m learning

twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. so throw off the bowlines. sail away from the safe harbor. catch the trade winds in your sails. explore. dream. discover.
–mark twain

feel free to add your own list of things you love this thursday in comments (:

things i love thursday

Posted: May 20, 2010 in things i love thursday


discovering side-pockets in a coat i thought pocket-less buying books again! now having a sookie stackhouse boxed set with the first eight books! & on top of that a fresh stack of books from the library (book nerd alert) good reads writing & anticipating finishing a story of epic proportions, which i’d abandoned for over a year that high-waisted skirt i made last week being called strawberry shortcake when wearing said skirt (i probably should’ve done an outfit post about that) seeing my oldest friends again, they always make me laugh & speaking of things that make me laugh! my dad going over the back fence with loyal employees & cutting all the trees down from the neighbors when he thought they wouldn’t be back for a while & then hiding from them ever since they came back that very night, because those trees bothered him, dropping worms in our pool & all. it’s so absurd it kills me this sweet tweet from @marajade13: I feel so cool! A super talented artist and clothing designer is following me! @maraleopard! Check her out! She’s amazing! =^_^= getting contacted for custom orders & the prospect of self-earned money! i’d really rather have people buy already made things from either of my shops, but it’s still awesome new lime crime make-up! it’s been far too long. i am now the proud owner of countessa fluorescent, airborne unicorn, circus girl & empress how much longer the days have gotten dropping unwanted change all over town for other people to find, like stargirl

spent most of the week being a nerd & reading & writing. i’ve read three books since sunday.

“read – and be curious. and if somebody says to you: ‘things are this way. you can’t change it’ – don’t believe a word.”
— cornelia funke

Photobucket watering the plants when I saw the little note discreetly slipped under the door. It was one week after the funeral. I had done my best to keep any thoughts of Cynthia out of my mind. Thinking about her would just be opening up a can of worms, which I could not deal with right now. I had really loved her. I still did. If I wasn’t already an atheist, I would certainly have become one after she died. How could any god have let someone so young and beautiful and plain good die? Any god we would want to worship anyway.

I should’ve thrown it away without looking at it. It would have saved me, not to mention everyone left in my life, so much grief. Of course, we can never tell what something so seemingly insignificant could all lead to. So I picked it up. In that familiar tiny scribble, it said “I’m not dead. Meet me tonight at Guido’s Pizzeria. Tell no one.” It was signed C. Like a rock hit my heart. I sank down on the couch with my head in my hands, crushing the note in the hand I had picked it up with. What asshole would play a sick joke like this? I forgot all about the withered plants. You had to be absolutely heartless… Or it could really be Cynthia. A part of me was certain it was. But that was impossible. I had seen her in the coffin! I had seen the priest close it and commit it to the ground! I had stayed by her grave for so long after the burial that she would have suffocated inside, were she alive. And if her death had been staged for whatever reason, why would she ruin it by revealing that she was alive to anyone? No, it was just some asshole toying with me. It couldn’t be anything else.

That night I was at Guido’s at 8 PM sharp. I had to know. I wasn’t hungry, but ordered a slice of cheese pizza and a glass of vodka to have a reason to be there. I had the feeling that I was holding my breath the whole time. I anxiously watched the people going in and out. Every time I saw someone with orange hair my heart skipped a beat. It was Friday and very crowded. I didn’t mind. The more crowded it was, the less noticeable was I. Time dragged on and on. I had only been here for 20 minutes, but it seemed more like 20 years. Why was I torturing myself like this? She wasn’t coming. She couldn’t. She was dead. I should just leave. Pretend this never happened.

I was already getting up to leave when I felt a cold, small hand on my arm. I turned around. It was her. It was really her. Orange hair, freckles, nearly black eyes, misleading frailty and all. But there was something wrong. She seemed older somehow. Tears welled up in my eyes. She smiled at me. “Don’t cry,” she said softly, wiping a tear away with her thumb. She was so very cold.

“What happened to you?”

She sat down next to me. She was completely scentless. “That’s a very long story and we don’t have much time. He only gave me half an hour above.”

“What? Who only gave you half an hour above?”

“Hush,” she said, putting a finger to my lips, “I told you it’s a long story. I can explain it all to you later, if you come with me,” she intertwined her fingers with mine, “Please come with me.” She looked me straight in the eyes, in a way that broke my heart. “I can’t stand this shallow, solitary existence. I need you. I love you. I know you love me too. If you come with me we can be together forever. And you’ll never have to worry about people disapproving of us again.”

It was very tempting. So much that I already made the decision. I only needed to know “Where will we go?”

She suggestively looked down.

“Down there? What’s down there?”

“Something you never believed in. Because of the bet, I’ll have to spend the rest of my life there. You have no idea how slowly time passes below. Please come with me?” She had only said that word twice and it was already more than I’d heard her say it alive. She had never been one to plead. I couldn’t abandon her.

“Of course I’ll come with you.” I kissed her. It was like plunging headfirst into a mound of snow. I wondered what it would’ve been like to kiss her before this happened to her. I never had the courage to do it before. And here we were, in such a very public place. I’m sure there were people looking, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.

After we broke apart she wasted no time in dragging me outside. She looked nymph-like darting before me in her pale green dress. Silently, she brought me to her grave. It was open. Inside I saw the flickering of flames. I stopped for a moment. “If I do this, I’ll never be able to get back, will I?”

“No, you won’t,” she said without looking at me.

I thought of my homophobic parents, my awful little sister, the fickle friends I had. There was nothing or no one I wasn’t prepared to give up for a lifetime with Cynthia. I turned my back to the only world I knew and led her back down. With her hand in mine I didn’t even feel the flames licking at my sides.


thank you so much if you read it all the way through! i know most of you that follow my blog aren’t very big on reading.
like the title says, i wrote this for the sake of writing a finished story. i used a writing prompt from writer’s digest. it was: One week after attending the funeral of a close friend, you receive a postcard in the mail with the words, “I’m not dead. Meet me tonight at Guido’s Pizzeria. Tell no one.” only i substituted postcard with a note. it was also supposed to be less than 750 words, but i went a few hundred over that.
i-person is a girl, in case you didn’t notice.
i’ve been working on two other stories (one about vampires, another about merpeople & pirates), but those are so far from being finished & i don’t like posting things i’ve written until they’re edited & i usually don’t edit until they’re finished, which isn’t often.

things i love thursday

Posted: May 13, 2010 in things i love thursday


my amazing new camera! it really puts me in a photographing mood now having a tripod for that camera! it will make my life SO much easier hanging out with nadia again after such a very long time floral things people who see you & your friend taking pictures of each other & offer to take one for you having the first season of true blood on dvd, especially in such a lovely american boxed set (the boxed sets here are all so cheaply made) super girlie headbands & being able to wear them again! babywipes, they’re a real godsend when the bathroom floor has to be broken open to fix a leaky pipe & you can’t shower for at least a week mercury retrograde finally being over replacing long-overdue things very nearly having mastered drawing a good line with liquid eyeliner! i’ve always been clumsy with that riot grrrly music buying new underwear & makeup trying new looks with makeup, i’m not usually big with experimenting in this area not (unnecessarily) worrying about anything my items being featured by other crafters i admire, in treasuries & the dawanda festival fashion collection

i’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school. they don’t teach you how to love somebody. they don’t teach you how to be famous. they don’t teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. they don’t teach you how to walk away from someone you don’t love any longer. they don’t teach you how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind. they don’t teach you what to say to someone who’s dying. they don’t teach you anything worth knowing.
–neil gaiman

things i love thursday

Posted: May 6, 2010 in things i love thursday


getting to see despised icon before they stopped touring winds of plague, i don’t usually like bands who throw something melodic into perfectly nice & heavy music, but they do it pretty well. plus, they’re fantastic live & one of the members complimented me on my cancer bats dress when i went to buy their music :p having money again! albeit from my dad as opposed to self-earned pondering what to buy with that money the imaginarium of doctor parnassus, i bought it on itunes on monday & i’ve already watched it four times very angry sounding music with positive, empowering lyrics still having the house to myself; three whole more days! vertical stripes how much attention that open letter to audrey kitching (& consequently the rest of my blog & my clothes) has gotten, while i had expected it to disappear into obscurity like all my other articles. it’s far from the best thing on my blog, but exposure is always good that my hair is very almost long & manageable enough to be able to go outside without a hat, almost neil gaiman stories, i really should read more of his books when a group of intimidating boys approach you, which you’d expect to say something nasty to you because you don’t exactly look conventional, & then one of them smiles at you & gives you a genuine compliment. it’s always such a pleasant surprise when people are actually good waking up in the morning & being able to breathe freely! i’ve been sick so unusually long this time (usually i’m all better within a week) & it’s really almost over being so inspired to create things that you can barely focus on anything else fitting into my old pants again. i’ve missed wearing those pants. my legs look so good in them

most of this week i’ve spent quietly recovering. but still, many awesome things :]

you have to do things that average people don’t understand, because those are the only good things.
–andy warhol

things i love thursday

Posted: April 30, 2010 in things i love thursday

so, it’s not exactly thursday anymore, but who cares?


the evelyn evelyn show wednesday. it was so awesome it needs its own paragraph. all the acts were awesome, sxip shirey was like nothing i’ve ever heard/seen before, so were evelyn evelyn themselves & jason webley & amanda palmer solo… wow. i wish i could go to another one of their shows! actually, i could. they’re playing in belgium on tuesday… & while it sounds far, antwerpen is about as far away from me as amsterdam… hmmm… of course, if i do go, i won’t be able to eat before mom gets back… i can live without food… but my parents really don’t like it when i spontaneously go to another country when they’re not here… where was i? oh right, how much i loved jason webley & especially amanda palmer. i met them! they’re exactly as nice & awesome as you’d expect them to be. i was too nervous to say much more than “hi!”, “can i get a hug?” & “thank you!” to them. but still, i met them! & love them even more now. amanda did kind of have a creepy way of looking at you though. now i know EXACTLY what harry means when he says that he sometimes had the uncomfortable feeling that dumbledore was x-raying him. she said that i was beautiful. & kissed me all over my face. she wasn’t entirely sober :p


the awesome people i met at the show, one even drove me all the way home later so i didn’t have to leave absurdly early with the train! they were so nice not having to go to suriname with my mom & brother! having the house all to myself for two weeks vintage dresses spending money, despite not so pleasant consequences dressing up for totally mundane things the prospect of having a job with a real, regular income soon, even though the job in question is high up on my list of things i never wanted to do compliments from strangers bright red lipstick ballerina shoes impromptu buffy marathons when i’m too exhausted for anything very productive

that’s all for this week! & just so you know, my friday features post will probably be a day late too.