i love you. i love your general attitude, i love your wild, colourful, devil-may-care style, i love that you make & upcycle a lot if not all of your clothes, i love that you’re always trying new things, i love how much you’ve evolved since your trashy life days. then you started talking about your own clothing line. i was pretty excited to see what fun, outlandish things you would come up with. with your creativity & aesthetic, how could it be anything less than brilliant?
“Betsey Johnson blowing a big fat kiss at the beach on a hot summer night as the clock strikes 12 in a rocket ship taking off for a prison in space while “girls just wanna have fun” plays out of a cherry pie boombox .” is how you described your designs for lipstick prophets. it sounded amazing. i was already thinking of ways to be able to afford some of your creations. the release date crept closer & closer. eventually, you posted pictures of the fruits of your hard, hard work. i was sorely disappointed. they were just three different pieces of very basic, standard, unimaginative clothing that all came in three different prints: a weird planet one, one leopard ruined with pink cherries all over & a kinda cool black & white striped with a big red lipstick mark. that’s what you call designing clothes? slapping a quasi-original print on some standard, badly cut things?
& then: “Coco De Coeur is a new line im working on coming out in May. Its clothing for the Teenage Angst. My inspirations were punks, squaters, rebels, trouble makers… basically the bad ass kids we all envy because they simply do what they want! Think Barbie meets Sid Vicous.” again, it was an amazing concept. if you hadn’t posted pictures of the ‘designs‘ yet, i would probably have a renewed hope. but you did. & behold:
big, flimsy white t-shirts with some words & barbie pictures on them. how ground-breaking. at least, that’s what your many fans who blindly follow you think. they all automatically call your ‘designs‘ so amazing & original. i have to disagree. i think you could do MUCH better. i wished you would.
maybe you think that i’m just jealous. well, i would be lying if i said i wasn’t. i don’t even have to know the exact amount of clothes you sold up ’til now to know that it’s more than i could in five years. but this isn’t about that. i suppose there’s just that market for unoriginal, cheap, mediocre things. it’s sad, really. & it won’t be changing anytime soon. ah, well. good luck cashing in on it! not that you need it, being audrey kitching and all.